I Didn’t Know Who I Was...
By: Meg Lee
I didn’t know who I was until I reached the age of 22. To put this into perspective, I’m 23 and turning 24 in just a few weeks. Two years ago, I unknowingly started this journey of becoming more me. I identify as Trans* Non-Binary and go by the pronouns they/them. The asterisk after “trans” is an important part of my identity because I use it as an umbrella term to encapsulate my gender identity and transness. Whenever I explain my gender identity to someone, I usually start by telling them that I like to “chill in the middle.” I’ve never really felt like a girl or a boy; I’ve just felt like Meg. Shortly after turning 22, I realized I wanted to go on low-dose testosterone to get myself even further in this journey of becoming, even more, Meg and this decision has proven to be one the best and scariest decisions I’ve made for myself.
Growing up, I didn’t know that being anything other than a girl or a boy was even an option. School and society taught me to conform. All throughout high school, I felt like I had to fit in a specific cookie cutter shape. I truly believed that I had to dress and act a certain way if I wanted to experience any sort of happiness or success. Societal norms and expectations pushed me into a deep spiral of depression, self-harm, and hopelessness. The deep spiral that I climbed out of is the reason why I am so passionate and motivated to live my life, not for my family, not for my friends or peers, but for me. I realized that if I promised to take the time to learn about myself and be kind to myself, I’d be able to grow into the person who I needed when I was younger and stuck in that deep spiral.
I often get misgendered, discriminated against, and misunderstood. I want to change this world with my art and by sharing my story so that people anywhere on the gender spectrum can feel safe enough to do things like go out in public and not have to worry about using public restrooms and getting discriminated against or misgendered - a privilege most people take for granted. We live in a society where people expect everyone to fall into specific categories - even judging someone when they’re not even close to knowing anything about them or what they’re going through. This motivates me to continue sharing my journey with others because I know that there are many people out in this world who feel alone and lost like I once did.
Although I often feel lots of pressure to educate others and always advocate for the LGBTQ+ Community, I always try to remind myself that my existence as a Trans* Non-Binary Asian American is more than enough. As I get ready to turn 24 in a few weeks, I remember how far I’ve come and how excited I am for the rest of my life. I want to help others get out of that deep and scary spiral by continuing to create art that makes me happy and share my journey of becoming more me. I would like to always remind those who are struggling with their sexuality and/or gender identity that they are never alone during the courageous journey of discovering who they truly are. Every single person deserves love, acceptance and the freedom to be whoever they want to be.
Find the Meg Lee Collab collection here to support their art.
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